Relationships, Families, Groups

Systems Therapy. The image to the left is a good metaphor for how Systems theory works. Individuals are assumed to be part of a network, or many networks. In the image, if a finger (or hand) represents you, or a friend, partner, family member, or business associate, then whenever the finger moves, it will affect the entire network by some degree. The individual affects the group just as the group affects each individual. To change the experience of any group member requires just a little movement by any other member. You are affected by any (or all) other member(s) as well. There is therapeutic power in this theoretical framework. As an example, Bob always pulls out the chair for Mary at a resturant table. Mary is accustombed to Bob's behavior. She no longer says "thank you" to Bob. Bob would like to hear that again, so he no longer pulls the chair out for Mary. Mary realizes that Bob's gesture was desirable, and decides to start thanking him again. Moral: if we want others to change we change our patterned behaviors. We do not change others as easily if we continue to do things the same way. Be creative. Thanks to http://www.isfa.org/isfa1.htm for their permission to use the 'cat's cradle' string game image above.

Content from Knubley Counseling Newsletter #1

Mental Health is having a "sound mind." A colleague once wrote these three words in a connected circle: -feelings-thoughts-behaviors-. She said that each one influences the others throughout our lives. After years of practice I have come to believe and agree that how I feel and behave, and how my relationships fare, moment-by-moment, depend on the thoughts I am listening to inside my head - my "self-talk." In 1644 AD, Rene Descartes wrote: "I think, therefore I am."

If we consider that our internal dialogue may be the key, we should pay close attention to what we are saying to ourselves. What I say privately to myself determines how I FEEL, and how I shall BEHAVE (act, or speak). What I am saying to myself definitely affects my life, my relationships, my family, and my work. It also directs the course of my future.

We become what we are envisioning. Inside our head, words and images coexist. If I remind myself that certain things were unfair, bad, or my fault, I will also be speaking a negative vision of my future, and will most likely be drawn toward negative experiences and other confirmations. For example, to say "he/she will never change," or "I am such a _____," will, most likely, remain ongoing or become a self-fulfilling prophesy.

We need to pay attention to what we are telling ourselves if we want a sound mind. What we speak is what is in our hearts, and it is what we come to "believe." Our beliefs do not have to be rational. We regularly choose a belief and THEN find evidence to support it. If we speak as victims, or as being controlled by circumstances or others, or if we speak of the futility of the future, we will orient ourselves into the very same kind of future experience.

Positive change (improved mental health) is most quickly produced by speaking healthy/healing things to ourselves. If we maintain this practice for any period of time, the belief becomes habitual, and we do not have to consciously maintain it any longer. A "sound mind" pays attention to its self: its own speech patterns, and then corrects what it would like to believe, say, and see come to pass. I am what I choose to believe and speak (to myself and others). I think, therefore I am.

Contact Information

KnubleyCounseling.com / KnCStl.com / KnC.bz
stephenknubley@sbcglobal.net
314-630-2642
12813 Flushing Meadows Drive, Suite 140, Des Peres, MO 63131

Licensed Professional Counselor
National Certified Counselor

Specializations:

I work with individuals, couples, relationships, and families. I also give mental health presentations to groups.

I work with clients who are experiencing stress, anxiety, depression, relationships, anger, grief, loss, and compulsions.

I use the practices of changing beliefs, experiences, thoughts (control), emotions, behaviors; with setting of goals, and envisioning the new self; with communication, language, and listening skills; and practicing behavioral modification.

I use the following techniques: CBT, Solution-focused therapy, Brief therapy, Systems therapy, Hypnosis (Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, Member: Natl. Bd. for Cert. Clin. Hynotherapist), Pastoral Counseling.

Interests: Self-examination, reflection, homework, journaling, positive affirmations, healthy self-talk, practices envisioning future self.

I diagnose clinical pathologies and suggest corrective practices/experiences.

I am a member of: ACA, AACC, NBCC, NBCCH, AMHCA/MMHCA, and PStL (psychotherapysaintlouis.com).